health things

i went to the doctor on thursday about all my health problems.

good news:

• i lost another 10 pounds, which means that in the past year and a half i’ve lost 22.2 pounds. i weigh as much as i did before i started anti-depressants. i’m halfway to my ideal weight.
• i don’t hate my doctor anymore! i made it clear that i wanted to be treated holistically and that i wanted to get to the root of my problems rather than be medicated for symptoms. he was okay with this. he was also okay with me telling him that i basically webmd’d myself. 
• same-day appointments, y’all. i saw my gp and  a radiologist and went to the lab in less than two hours, no waiting.

bad news:

• i haven’t been working out (aside from yoga), so some of the weight loss is not something i’ve done to better myself. i have no control over it.
• i have no appetite. my default is ‘eat all the things,’ but now i can’t finish a single serving of oatmeal or soup. i think i’m eating enough to nourish myself, but the change is still disturbing.
• my gp is uncertain as to what is causing all of this, so i had blood drawn and x-rays taken. our suggested diagnoses were fairly similar: fibromyalgia, celiac, rheumatoid arthritis. arthritis at 24. jesus.
• when my hands and knees swell up, it terrifies me. one of my biggest fears is losing my ability to use my hands.